So we lost a lot of money those past couple days. Well, technically, Mike did - but it's we, because u know, the whole married thing. No, we're not broke. We're just at the "average" level - which is unbearable to him because we were doing so well just two months ago. I think that his job is the most stressful and unstable thing under the earth. I also think that he's the most talented guy to do it. However, I really believe he will have to quit it in several years, else he'll get an early heart attack or something. He's fully aware of it too, and plans to retire early - and that's why us losing money is so devastating to him. Because his long-term plans aren't being met. To me, my worries are more immediate. I know he assured me that quitting my job would be fine- but that was when we were in a better money shape. Suddenly our income for the year is very average, and I feel pressure to return to work. He told me not to - but he said he understands that I feel anxious. Yeah, to me my little average salary has a huge advantage over his - most of the time much bigger- salary, and that is - it's stable. I know that snow or hail I'll get my paycheck (and health insurance, too!) while for him it's like one day we're talking maybe we should start looking for a house, then suddenly we're not in a position at all. This frustrates me though I understand it is a specific of his chosen job. I really do think though that being a day trader is an insane insane profession. And I also know there's nothing better that he can do in life, he says that this is ideal job, there is nothing else he'd rather do. He says even if he was retired or whatever,he'd still watch the market every day. It is a hobby which became a job, and I guess that's ideal arrangement. It's just that I hate to see his pale face when I come home from school telling me how he "failed" today, how much we lost and all that. I hate to see him beat himself up, like he does. And the funny thing, he beats himself up whether he loses one grand, or twenty grand - the amount of pressure he puts on himself is enormous. But I told him yesterday that we only have to hold on for another 8 months till I graduate and then get some stability in our lives. I would just feel much safer knowning that no matter what, we'll have my salary to live on. But for now, I told him that I still believe in him (which I do!!!!) - and he should know better - the market is all about law of probability - even if he follows his research and numbers, it can go against him, and it's not his fault. By the same token, I also know that the market can play in his favor just as rapidly and he can earn a lot of money in a day. So I wouldn't be surprised if I come home today and he's all beaming and saying how he made money. Actually this is what I deal with day to day - his "winning" mode and his "losing" mode. I like winning mode more, because then he is happy, listens to me, and in general we have a great time. When he's worried he only can think about his job. He just had a string of bad luck, but I feel a bit worried now when he told me yesterday just how much money we made exactly. It's a liveable wage, but I feel nervous because I don'y work. Anyway, I guess it's all will sort itself out. He told me grimly that if it got any worse he'll start looking for a "real world" job. Ouch. I know he won't be happy doing anything else. Yes he has an art degree, and a filmography minor, and bunch of various experience in different fields, but he truly only wants to be a day trader. He tells me he was "born" for it.

So, I guess we'll just have to live and see. I just want him to make some money, even a little money, so he could greet me with a smile.

Otherwise- for some reasons I crave meat. Isn't that strange.