I feel much more energetic and optimistic- it amazes me how much energy gets drained by the "female" thing. Wow.

The classes are going, I can't believe the first week is almost over - just got today to go. I think that only two classes out of five will be really hard - Print Production with the crazy teacher, and Info graphics - due to subjecft matter, because it's all about signs and stuff, and our first assignment is to construct an origami and then do a poster of detailed instruction on how to make this origami, making it both understandable to the viewer and also interesting visually. How's that for a challenge. So, with mike's help, I made a little boat - it looks very cool, but I wouldn't be able to do it myself, I got half way through and got stuck. But he showed me next step and then it was peachy. I suppose I'll do fine overall, but it just going to be harder than usual.

Web Scripting II is so far a question - the teacher is way way too "childish" - he kind of plays it to students almost too much, so I don't know how much actual learning will go on, but basically all we're going to do is learn Flash, which is very cool, because I had no experience with Flash at all. He said that he'll start from the beginning - today. So we'll see how much I'll actually get out of it. So it might get into the "hard" classes category, but I don't know yet - depends on how he teaches, what he expects, and how much work has to be put in. But I figured 2 out of 5 is do-able.

Otherwise... had a heart-to-heart talk to Mike about our future plans. He feels like he needs to do something good for society but he doesn't know what it is. I admire this in him, because - frankly - I don't want to help society. Yeah, so I'm a cruel monster :) In all seriousness, I have a very sceptical approach to volounteer work - in russia and in high school here they always made us to do all kinds of public service unvolountarily - you had to do it to get through school. So I did it all - helping old people, cleaning yards, babysitting for free... you name it. I am sick of being pushed into doing "good". The most I am capable of - and I told Mike that - is giving charity to worthy causes. If someone else wants to help cancer and go to hospitals - all powers to them. I feel that if I make enough money it is good and honorable to give some of it to people who need it, or to organizations who help people. But I don't want to be a part of it. Mike said he understands my point, but he feels that after we make enough money (which he sure we will :) - there should be something else for him to do in life. I said well, once we have kids, you can start educating them and it's hell of a job. But for some reasons, our own perspective kids did not excite Mike so much - as far as his hypothetical "do good for the humanity" thing goes. He said that our kids naturally will be cool and well off, and he's interested more in helping others. I said if you don't spend enough time with kids then they'll grow into miserable adults. He laughed - but agreed! So, we didn't come to any agreement, but I made it very clear to him that I won't be drawn into any "volounteer work" of any sort - and if he wants to dedicate his time to something like that he sure can as long as it's not interfearing with his family. He said the terms are clear, and now anyway it is not so much an issue because he still has a lot to do work-wise.

Actually, I do believe in the validity of his feelings - even psychologically, if you look at Erickson's "stages of life" chart, Mike is right where he should be - it's all about how at every stage of life you always face certain "dilemma" and you can either "win" or "lose" it. And people who "win" usually end up much more happier and well-balanced. So, for middle adulthood stage, to which Mike pertains age-wise, Erickson put "generativity versus stagination" - so if a person contributes to society then he feels fulfilled, but if not he is stagnant and feels empty. I think I might just lose that battle ;)

In general, I find it that Mike likes people much more than I do. I really do not like people. Sure, I love my family, my friends, and certain individuals around me - but overall, I do not like people. I am a shy person, i do not like to be thrown into some crowd I don't know. I also do not feel any pity for a guy who works at Taco Bell and gets six bucks an hour. Why? Because when my parents came here, they had exactly $200 with them - you couldn't take more than that out at that time in Russia. That's all - the rest was loans that they took upon our arrival from jewish organizations just to help us with the basics - apartment and food. All the rest they achived by themselves - learning English at the age of 40-some, getting job, adapting, sending us to school... paying off those loans eventually. And right now they are not rich of course, but they have decent house, and decent life, and we as kids are on our own. I feel that if people in their middle age could completely leave their country and go to a brand new culture and language - and adopt and make a living, a dude who works at Taco Bell can get a loan and go to college and get education and better job. Nothing will convince me otherwise. And Mike ;s family was pretty poor at some point, and now they are OK, and Mike is Ok too - so once again, they bettered their lives. I told that to Mike and he had to agree - but he feels that he should make people's life better. Which is fine, I guess it depends how and whose life.

Anyway, I know I married an extraordinary guy when I went into this. I'm sure he will do something highly unconventional at some point, and I'll support him the best I can. I just told him not to expect me to be doing the same thing. He said it's fine, I just have to allow him. So... will see what life brings :)