I found out that I will be graduating a week before the quarter officially ends. How's that for stress. On one side, I am happy that it will be sooner, on the other that means that all my projects must be ready prior, so less time than I thought. Oh well. I think June 15 is official graduation date. Ouch. Anyway, I shouldn't complain, school is going okay so far, I am just plugging away at my projects, but it suddenly seems so soon, it's unreal. I also ordered my portfolio through the bookstore. Yeah, it also was a hassle, my teacher last quareter collected order forms, she was like, I will submit them to the bookstore myself, we want to start on it as soon as possible. So yesterday I asked them - when is it coming in, and they go you aren't on our list! The teacher never submitted the forms!!!! I was so mad. Anyway, I just filled the form in on the spot and paid for it. Expensive stuff, the portfolio itself is $120, and then plastic pages and black divider sheets is like $1.45 EACH! - so it really was costly. But what can u do, besides I looked around and others were either super crappy (quality wise) or super expensive, so my school's deal seem reasonable. The portfolio will be in within 2 weeks. So I should be okay (keeping my fingers crossed!). Boy I cannot wait till I get a job and all those expenses will be justified.

Here's something that pisses me off a bit. My family and friends - they all say oh, you shouldn't hope to get a job right away, the market is so bad, blah blah. No one said - hey, you're young and talented, you'll find something, don't worry - yes the market is bad but we are sure that you will be fine. Nope. All I get is - be ready to be out of job for a while, those things don't just happen, etc etc. Yes, I worry about it myself. Would it hurt for everyone to be a bit more supportive? It's like they all want to persuade me that I'm a loser and I suck. Geesh. I think that if I put my mind into it, I'll get a job. I cannot just give up on the basis that market is bad. Whether it's bad or not, I am a single person looking for a single job, and it better be out there for me! Some support wouldn't hurt either! But... oh well! I guess I will just have to prove all of them wrong.

I guess deep down I am worried about the same thing... what if? What if I don't find ajob, and then we won't have health insurance and then we won't be able to have kids because of that. I don't know. But then I always think - it's just a job, how am I worse than anyone else? I am totaly not :) So...

Guess will live and see. On another subject, we are leaving tomorrow for Texas! Yeah! I am totally psyched, it's a trip, it's a getaway, I will get to wear my new black dress, so life is good :) And I refuse to let my worries spoil it.