I feel a bit better today. After the funeral and everything, there was some feeling of finality of grandma's death. For a brief moment, they opened the casket and I saw her face- she looked completely foreign, as if it wasn't her at all. Which is weird - I guess i don't have much experience with funerals and death, but at Mike's grandma's funeral, they had a "wake" and she was just laying there, and everyone came up. She looked like she can get up any minute, that's how similar she looked to what she was in life. My grandma, on the other hand, did not look like herself at all. And by Jewish tradition, you really don't get to look at the dead person - they did it as a way of exception, opened it for about 5 minutes for close family only - and in a way it was scary but in a way it was comforting to see my grandma one more time, even if she did not look like herself.

We got many beautiful flowers, from my company (for which my mom and I happen to work, luckily in different departments and buildings), and from friends. It was weird to come back to work again, it felt like it's almost unfair - everything is going on, and my grandma is not there anymore. But at the same time morning just flew by - it was so busy and I didn't have time to dwell on my thoughts. Which is good.

And W.E. wrote me a card, which I thought was utterly sweet of him, especially b/c no one else at work did. They just sent me a group flowers - which was also much appreciated - but it was in a way extra nice of W. to get me a card. I felt very touched - he really is a great man.

It's hard to believe that my wedding is less than two weeks away. Suddenly it doesn't feel like it. I am not freaking out, I am just tired. I understand that it's due to everything that happened, and I really had no time to dwell on things this past week with my dear grandma being as she was... but I guess I will be nicely freaked out in a week.

Well, we are almost done with everything, just finalizing seating arrangements, food and music order, and limo, etc. So I guess things are fine.

In a way I want everything to be over already. But I also know things will go so fast, 6 hours will pass in a second and before you know it all those preparations will be over. We both decided we won't have a single drink during wedding, minus obligatory wine during the huppa. Must have clear mind.

Ohh..school tomorrow. Better get to bed.