I've been to a birthday party today, for our little niess, Mike's sister daughter. I am really exhousted - and just one more time realized how much out of place I always feel there..

I don't know how Mike came out as he did in this environment. And I feel almost guilty writing this but... It's not like his family is somehow bad, or not nice. They really are. They like me. But at the same time.. They are what I consider to be suburbia with the capital S. With the exception of his mom. They are really boring, and the part that makes me mad - about myself - is that I really feel all stifled when I'm around them. They ask me all those stupid meaningless questions, and oh, how great it is that Mike finally got married, and when are we going to have kids (leave me alone!) - and just in general, I feel like I am on this big "trial." I know that most likely Im paranoid, and they mean well but..I feel so strange in that environment. And of course then Mr. Stocks comes in -this dude aged about 50, who lives with his mother all his life! - and who does some sort of a stock trading, but different from Mike. But - since the guy has no life - the only subject of conversation that he can have is obviously stocks. So Mike for him is like a gold mine - and it's not like he's asking Mike for some trade secrets - he just wants to talk about general market. And Mike is a type of guy who cannot say "no" to someone who wants to talk to him, and especially about stocks. So what ends up happening at every such family party is that Mr. Stocks grabs Mike by the collar and doesn't let him talk to anyone else. And meanwhile I'm stuck in a company of people to whose circle I totallly don't belong and it just feels really stupid.

Well, at least the little girl was happy, and everyone got her cool presents and all. I just get so emotionally tired from those parties.

Ok well.. got to sleep, school starts at 8 a.m. tomorrow!