So here's a good word - incentive.

Not that I was missing it, but now it's even more pending. Our trip to see D. is officially scheduled - who hoo! I am utterly excited!!! - Labor day weekend, besides will get to see my other friend, D.G., as well! So.. now I definetely positively must lose at least 10 pounds before the grand trip. Considering that D.G. is totally unforgiving when it comes to what he thinks of as "beauty" though he'd never admit it, and D... . I don't know, I feel like I just want to look good. It probably means I am insecure? I mean, on a big scale, what do I care what both of them think of me, I have someone who loves me - for me! :) - but.. I guess it's just good old vanity in me. Must look good in front of friends who did not see me for a while. I did miss D. quite a lot though, hate to say this but.. dunno, that boy is just so unique. Anyway.. so, off exersicing I was today, it actually felt good albeit a bit weird b/c I haven't done those machines for a while. It's like my muscles were saying huh, THAT again? ;)) But I know it will help on a long run. And one more thing - will never ever eat Starburst candy! Oh. My. God. I bought one at school yesterady, and after eating it I felt so terrible, sluggish, and chemical loaded. It's pure sugar, adn completely disgusting. Lesson learnt...But anyway, my weight is ridiculously high now, for me that is - it's about 7 lb lighter than what I was at my biggest - if that says anything. Pretty discouraging, actually!! But I am calm about it in a sense that I know what's going on, and I know cause of it, and I know how to deal with it. So in 2 months my body will be somewhat differnet, I hope, and that's what's matters. Oh why can't I just be thin like Mike, and not worry about it!!! But no.

On another subject.. I can't believe I am quitting work. It seems unreal. I am so busy now, days just fly by, and I just realized I only have 3 days left. W.E. actually approached my desk today and said oh my god, I didn't realize you are leaving so soon. I will so much miss you, blah blah. Again, I was very touched. He's such a cool guy! I actually figured what is it about him that makes me like him so much (aside from being so cool) - he treats people like human beings. K. is on vacation this week (of course), so they got someone to help out for the week, who sits at K's desk and helps me out a bit. Well, no one approached her the whole day except W.E. - who came up, introduced himself, asked her couple questions about her, and kind of made her feel appreciated, I think. That what makes W.E. such a "mench" ;)

Anyway.. it's weird but as much as I vent about work I'll miss it terribly. I think I'll miss the feeling of being needed the most. There were times during my 3 years w the company where I literally held the place together (not the company per say, but our little group) - and that felt great, and they know it, and they know I can pull thru in a jam, etc. And as much pressure as it was, it also was very rewarding sometimes, to get things done, and out, to meet their aboslutely ridicuolus deadlines. Sure that left no time for anything else, like exersice ;) - but... in a twisted way it was fun. And now I'll just be a student.. but as W.E. said I'll be always welcome there, and if needed, he'll put a word for me (the boy got connections, yeah!)

So... that's that. Long rambling - weird times.