Brunch with my family was cool. All except for my mom picking on me - now she doesn't like how my hair looks. I just remind myself to keep calm, to realize that she thinks she honestly is doing this for my "good" (as in, if I criticize enough than she'll change).

Well, there's one thing I look forward to: if I lose weight on WW, it will be a revenge-o-rama! Not that I'm doing it for that reasons, mostly for my own feeling good and health and all that. But it sure would be nice to give her a taste of her own medicine if I ever get slim. Yes. And don't tell me revenge is bad and all that.

I totally believe in revenge. I am not a mean person, god knows, I'd never say anything mean to anyone, or do anything mean. Because of that, actually, people just love to pick of me, I've been taught all my life taht "girls have to be nice" (arghhhh), so whether I want it or not, at this point it's part of my nature. However, when a person who's supposed to be the most closest to you in the world treats you like shit.... she'll get it back. I am so done with being a victim, for once I will be a victor. If I get to a point where I'll feel confident about my looks, it will be nice to throw all the hurt that she put me through back in her face. I would love to see that.

Speaking of which... I believe in death penalty too. I think that someone who raped a pregnant woman and cut out her baby shouldn't be allowed to live. There is no "pardon" for such monstrosity, and I hope that Ryan rots in hell.

This is one thing Mike and I argue about. He is against death penalty because he cannot understand a concept of revenge. If someone did something terrible to him, in his theory, that's already happened and cannot change, while killing that person wouldn't do any good. I disagree. An eye for an eye. Though he also hates any movies which deal with revenge. Revenge as a characteristic is completely foreign to him. Just like jelaousy to me. I always marvel at people who get jelaous over their parents' or siblings wealth, or over some other random person's well-being. For me it's like, they have money - good for them! Or even someone who looks better than me, or whatever. I can admire it, and maybe wish for it, but I do not feel negativity towards person posessing those qualities just because they do.

anyway... boy this entry is negative! But I don't know... I had such a maverlous time yesterday, and then also Nikka came over at night and we watched Ghost World - which, once again, rocked! - and I couldn't stop thinking how it's so unfair that my mother finds only faults in me. It shouldn't be this way, it's wrong. I turned out quite fine, and yet it's never enough for her. My dad is another story, he loves me to pieces. That is the only thing that keeps me sane.

If I ever have kids, I'll be a better mother, for sure.