Lots of stuff is going on, but I don't know where to begin... I seriously think that we are under some dark cloud at times, and then I think we're at a better place than lots of people. So I don't know.

I'm still of course looking for a job, expecting couple follow up calls from companies I interviewed with last week, also got couple more interiew leads this week, one of which being another global company. I just want it to be over already though, get a job and be done. But again, this is tough. Also the whole condo deal is driving me nuts, I think our agent is not doing a great job in selling it, not putting enough effort that is, but Mike is like lets be diplomatic, while I want to kick her ass!!!!! So I told him fine u be diplomatic but if we end up not getting the condo sold and not getting the house we made an offer for, then do not blame me.

Anyway... My mood is rather fragile these days, I keep on thinking that our lives somehow slowly slip away into this uncertainty and insanity. Also, and I hate to say this but hell it's my diary, so there! I have a feeling that I ended up with a different man than the one I married. I don't know how to explain it.. Even on external level, when we got married, Mike was a successful stock trader, was well on the way to building significant capital and all that... No more. He's a postal worker. And also even his personality, on more internal way, has changed - he's still sweet and caring but lately he gets his silly side to control him way too much. While I like his lightheartedness most of the time, his attempt to make EVERYTHING into a joke, even when I do try to be serious, pisses me off and then I get "well this is me, so you live with it." Like, yeah, I am a moron - live with it. Well thanks!!! So anyway, it's far from being alarming, we still love each other very much, but this undending tension - about everything! - money, future, houses... it's really putting me on the edge. I find myself freaking out almost 24/7. Not good. And you wonder why ppl of my grandma's generation lived longer, like herself... till 97.. while I'm sure I wouldn't go as far because all I do is stress myself out. How optimistic, I know. Oh well.