Just feel exhousted. Yesterday Mike and I went to the opera, Magic Flute. I have never seen it before and it is quite magnific. The only thing that spoiled it a bit was that one of the characters used English twise (the opera is in German) - for joke purposes, and the audience loved it and laughed but I felt like it was stupid and unneeded. Mozart meant for it to be in German and that's how it should have stayed - it's like adding a touch of paint to Mona Lisa because it could use improvement. I just felt that certain classic things should be untouched. But anyway, the staging was great, all the decorations and all. But we got home at 1 .a.m. (missed the earlier train) and now Im in school, half asleep. Oh well.

Thinking about grandma - everyone kind of knows she won't get better but it's just so hard to accept. Her heart still is very weak and that hardly will improve, ever. So now they are keeping her on pain killers and she's not suffering of pain but she's drowsy and from time to time her mind goes, and she stops recognizing people. Which is probably the hardest on us, especially mom. Well, going to her nursing home after school today. I feel like now I can't afford to not see her, because the time is running out :( And the fact that she's 98 and lived a long life does not help considering she's been there ever since I can remember myself. And I know it's old age, and we all are coming to this sooner or later and yet.. just so hard. Mike's grandma died last year absolutely unexpectedly, literally within 2 hours. Brain tumor. She was all cheery last time we saw her, she was truly a sweetest lady. And then one morning she wakes up with a headache, goes for a checkup and dies the next. No one could even comprehand - that's how fast it happened. And Im not sure what's better - my grandma suffered quite a lot in that hospital where no one spoke her language and all those stupid IV's and stuff, and now shes in pain and got to be on painkillers. I dont know what s better. I just childishly wish that she got better and all was back to "normal"... but that normal is really never to come back :(